I have met a lot of people who feel that the world is a selfish place to live in and they always complain about one thing or the other – could be heartbreak, a failure, or sheer disgust and disappointment. Obviously, when the chips are down and your back is against the wall, you are left with no other choice than complain. It is the human psychology that makes them feel better when they rant or express their disappointment. You must have seen a lot of people telling others ‘don’t keep it in your heart, express it, express your anger…”.

Why though?! Instead, you can do other things instead of complaining. Why should you be thinking about the problems when you can simply think about the solutions and make a change instead? Thinking and talking about a problem only attracts it more towards you. Try doing one of these things instead of complaining:

Say Thank You instead

The act of gratitude is the best that one can do instead of complaining in most of the situations. If some person is giving you some serious problems, simply turn up to them and say a thank you. Complaining will never be a solution. The more you complain, the happier other people get because that is what their agenda is, to trouble you. So why let them be successful in their evil deeds? Say a thank you and take them by surprise. Sooner or later, they themselves might realize that they are wrong and things might get easier to you. And all of this would come without any complaining issues! In cases when you can’t thank the people, spare a minute to thank the almighty for the situations he has created for you and have faith that things would get better.

Let go

This is more of something that follows the previous point. You need to thank people for whatever they have done to you. The moment you show an action of gratitude from your end, you should consider yourself free from them and start a new road. Sometimes it is a lot more prudent to let go than to keep holding on to situations and relations. You need to take a few bold steps at some stage of the other. So instead of complaining, let things go. This might help you control your own mind and soul. “Living in the past is living with regret, living in the future is living with anxiety, and living in the present is living in peace.”

Exercise

Yes. This is a good way of keeping the habit of complaining away from you. When you do some physical exercise, your mental stress reduces and thus your chances of ranting and complaining reduce by quite some extent. Moreover, exercising enables you to shift your mindset from a negative one to a positive one.

Have a plan of action

You start complaining when you see that things are not working out the way you want them to work out for you. So instead of complaining, you should take the responsibility of changing the situation around you and thus be a help to yourself. It can be difficult to get started, so by writing everything down, you will start developing more and more focus and the will to change everything will grow manifold which is bound to change the atmosphere around you. This is a good way of getting rid of the complaining zone, isn’t it? Use your calendar to schedule time and you will be in a much strong position from the start.

Praise Others

Most of the times, you might be wondering that things are just so not in the right place for you. So you should be optimistic enough to see how things are turning out to be for the others. There is no harm in feeling good for others when you yourself are in dire straits. Moreover, when you are in a grumpy mood and have no reason to stop complaining, you should remain strong enough to deviate yourself from this grumpiness and praise others. Believe it or not, the more you praise others, the better you start feeling. Just like the act of appreciativeness, making someone else happy by giving them commendation and appreciation will make you happier. Why not make someone else feel virtuous and spread the joy around?

It is the Success that Matters

People are often lame enough when they focus more on their weaknesses than on their strengths. If you have failed in any of your efforts, than instead of blaming the circumstances and complaining about the spilt milk, you should get your act back together and try to gear up for bigger challenges and get success for yourself. Your focus should be more on the success part rather than on the failures. This is the reason people who come from disadvantaged backgrounds are more likely to remain part of a disadvantaged group. You should know that failures, be it in any of your business endeavors or in any relationship, are the stepping stones to success. Its an old adage that we all know but still doubt our own capabilities. Stop being pessimistic and start focusing on success. Stop complaining right away!

“There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.” Don’t sit around waiting for your life to change; go out and change it. If something makes you unhappier, don’t sit around complaining—do something about it.

This post was initially posted on tiptoplifestyle.com. I had written this back in 2014 for Dose Media.