how to forget past | Minute Musings

5 ways to Forgive and Stay Mentally Strong

Posted on April 5, 2020 by Nikhil Anand

It is always said that forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. But in the real world, nobody knows what people mean when they use this term “strong”. How strong is one supposed to be in order to be in a state of forgiving someone’s sin or forgiving some of his close friends and relatives for having betrayed them? The answer is largely unknown. The art of forgiveness is a tough one to handle especially if you have to forget your lover for cheating on you. How to master this art of forgiveness and be strong in every sense of the word? Read on to know more.

Look Back at Your emotions and Thought

It is a common thing to notice that people tend to get engrossed in this forgiveness dilemma that they stop looking at their own emotions. If something is stereotyped as a bad thing, you don’t even bother to ask your own opinion and just go with the flow that the mistake committed by your loved one is a big mistake. This is simply not the right way of handling things. If you have issues with your past or the worries of future are bothering you, then you should know that it is your mind that is playing tricks with you and not you who is creating them. You should be strong enough to be the sole creator of your own emotions and watch them carefully. This is beautifully described in a bestseller titled ‘Power of your Subconscious Mind’. Sometimes it is better to forgive and forget than to remember and regret, isn’t it?

Seeking Vengeance? Do it the other way!

When you have issues with something or when you are simply getting mad at someone, the best way of making them feel bad is by giving a sweet smile to them instead of back answering them or talking to them. Smile when it hurts the most. This thing can confuse people. When you react to something bad being done on to you, others seem to enjoy because they know that their actions are bothering you. So why make them feel so special? You should instead continue smiling and walking in your journey of life without looking back at those people. There can’t be a better revenge than this. Never try to seek vengeance. Forgive all and move ahead in your life. You can take revenge by living a better life without those people and making them realize that they had no rights to spoil your life and you are happy in your life without them. Forgive and forget and then live on.

It is not necessary to forgive every mistake

Yes, we all know that forgiveness is something that everyone must have in their character traits. But at the same time, you should be sensible enough to understand which mistakes are meant to be forgiven. Not every mistake deserves forgiveness. Imagine a situation in which someone murders your close one. You cannot simply be a sage and forgive the murderer for doing so. Yes the example was a very vague one; but the intent of the example is crystal clear. Try to read between the lines to understand this.There is a thin line between mistakes, crimes, and sins. You can forgive someone for their mistakes, the almighty will take care of the sins; but you cannot forgive anyone for the crimes.

Love is the answer

Most of the times when you get disappointed because of the actions of some of your friends and closed ones, you tend to feel that loneliness. Sometimes you should know that you need to forgive without expecting any apologies from the other end. If you keep your ego at the back of your mind, than there is no reason why your relationship will not get jeopardized. It is often very easy to sabotage one’s relationships with other people because of a few fights and misunderstandings. You should rather think of those people with love and compassion. Forgive the past, forgive yourself, forgive others, and love the present moment for what it’s worth. Loving is never easy, especially when times are rough, yet it is easily the most formidable and positively persistent action possible. yet again, forgive and forget.

Take a break; Introspect

Yes. This is probably the most important aspect of your mental health and your mind. You might be in two minds when it comes to forgiving people. You shouldn’t be. Always remember that you have enough time to take the right call. You might forgive someone in the rush of time but later regret it. Similarly, you might punish someone and later realize that maybe you could have forgiven them. Should you forgive? The most important part of forgiving someone is the alone phase. Have some time with your inner self. Try to analyze the situation and understand what perspired and what the possible reasons were for that. Introspection will give you the right frame of mind to decide. Who knows, you might end up changing your decision in this process and eventually take the right call? Always take a break when you are hurt. This is the secret of life.

Perfection doesn’t exist. Forgiveness is habitually the simple apprehension that there is nothing that actually needs to be forgiven.

The post was originally posted on tiptoplifestyle.com in 2014. I had penned down this post for Dose Media.

5 Things to Stop NOW, to Avoid Lifelong Regrets

Posted on March 25, 2020 by Nikhil Anand

If I tell you this is your last day, will you be doing what you are doing right now?

10 odd years down the line, there will be many events, decisions, and people you would have regrets about. This is purely natural. After all, to err is humane. And we pretty much know that we will have regrets about our past actions. It is not very easy to make the right call in every situation. But this particular sort of a mental damage can be marginalized to a great extent by following some simple tricks of living your life.

As an individual, you may come across many new challenges in your day to day life. How you deal with them; lies completely in your hand. Here are the list of 10 things you should stop doing in the present in order to avoid lifelong regrets. Read on.

It’s not your Dream!

The most common regret that people have in their life is that they feel they missed out on the opportunity of fulfilling their cherished dream. People have the habit of trying to live someone else’s dream. In the process of doing so, they forget themselves and their own aspirations and desires. In most cases, people in their younger age fail to recognize their own talents and dreams, and thus fall prey to the wishes of their parents or the society. Even if they do not have the right will towards doing something, they tend to pursue career in that particular field which their parents choose for them. Find your dreams and know what you are good at in the early stage of your life and live with no regrets. No matter how severe the obstacles are, never quit. Strive hard and hard to attain your goal. Try to get a best of both worlds?

Trying to be Someone Else

We have role models and we revere celebrities. There is no harm in it. But sometimes people idolize other people who are entirely different from them. Soon they start changing themselves in order to be like their role models. They start living a life of person who they are nowhere related to. What is the point of living someone else’s life? This is yet another regret that people have in their life. So just be yourself and stop committing this mistake. You are good and unique the way you are. Love yourself and let the regrets go away!

Building a Web of Lies

One thing that I have learnt from my mistakes is that I should never lie. Funnily enough, I do not even remember the things I have lied to different people. I know I could get in trouble because of that.

No matter how old you are, you always have some things in your mind which you hesitate to leak out simply because you fear the reactions of other people towards your call. As a result of this, you end up with a lie which forms the base for a series or a web of lies. Believe it or not, these lies will never let you live with peace in your life. No matter how severe the impacts could be, always stick to the truth. If you build up your present on the basis of such lies, you will end up nowhere in the future. The most content man is the one who has no secrets and nothing to hide. He lives a life with no regrets. The secret to a happy living is giving up on all lies and telling the truth in every situation and thus avoiding regrets in life. You might get into trouble because of this, but this trouble is always a short lived one. Never have regrets speaking the truth.

It is about Living the Moment

Most of the people refrain from doing things simply because they are scared of the reactions and the outcomes that may perspire in future because of the things they do in the present – the fear of failure?

Due to this, they fail to enjoy the very essence of life. It is a very common thing to see people not live in the present. In this process of regretting the past and planning for the future, they forget to live the present moment. The past is inevitable and the future is unpredictable. So why live your life around these facets of tenses where all you can have is mere regrets? You should always live in the present and stop worrying about the things that could possibly happen because of your actions and thus remove these regrets from your life.

Not having a Stand

If you believe that whatever you are doing in your life is the right thing, then you should have the chutzpah to stand by your own actions and words in the future. There is no point in living a life where your decisions and mindset flickers every second and you are preoccupied with regrets. If you see something wrong happening right in front of your eyes, have the guts to take action against it and stand for yourself and for others. If you do not do this in your life, it would be a sin committed and the regrets would linger forever. This would give very deep regrets and in the future even if you try to change your actions, you would be found wanting to do so.

Life is all about making right calls and living without regrets. No decision is correct or wrong. It is up to you how you see the things and avoid such regrets. Take the decisions and then try to prove them right. This is the essence to a happy living.

The post was originally posted on tiptoplifestyle.com in 2014. I had written this post for Dose Media.